y did u give ur computer a hand job?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
