David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
