I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
