My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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