oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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