Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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