so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
