Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
