so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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