Plan B is the new Plan A
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Ladies don't puke and tell
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
