For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I think people are normalizing furries
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