I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
