My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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