Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
