I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
