K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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