I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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