piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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