Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
