Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
