I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
