I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
