And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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