I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
