everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i think i have herpe
just one?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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