she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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