He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
