I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Your cock deserves a montage
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
