I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
