I have demons in me.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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