The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
