I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Randomize
