hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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