Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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