so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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