Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
