have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
