Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
