i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
