Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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