Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
