He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
