i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
