11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
