it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Hippo gnu deer
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
