What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It's no shave November. This is our time.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
