everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize