Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
