Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
