how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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