Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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