dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
