Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
