when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
