Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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