What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I look better un-naked...
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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