she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he shaved USA in his pubs
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
