I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
