maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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