that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I am one with the molecules
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
