ya dads aren't the best wingmen
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
