Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
