I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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