my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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