Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
