# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
