Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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