what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize