Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
