what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
