Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Houston, we have a squirter
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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