tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
